Mu, my dear friend, says I've gotten a little flabby in my writing here. "Where's all that angst, agony, and anguish? Where's the deep ponderings and philosophical musings you usually share?"
she asked me over lunch the other day.
"I'm happy," I said as I took a big bite of my grilled panini with chicken breast, yellow peppers, and other colorful ingredients that should, right now, be making your mouth water.
"Can't you be happy and still write deep things?" she asked.
I took another bite, thought about it, and said, "Nope. Don't think so."
When you're happy, you're relaxed. And when you're relaxed you do things like note the color of flowers, eat grilled paninis with your mouth overjoyed, wiggle your toes and think about painting them, and marvel about how good it is to be alive.
When you're not happy,...well, that's when you agonize, maybe strategize more intensely or pray more intensely. You wail or you hold back tears or you sit alone and welcome the darkness.
Of course, there is a happy medium between the two. It's just that I'm not sure most of us live in that Happy Medium as a normal routine.
Lately I sense that I'm in the center of God's will- and it's not because I'm giving thousands to charity (I'd like to) or that I've gone on long long prayer walks or that I've fasted for a week, or that I've been so pious and good that I know for sure God thinks highly of me and therefore will favor me. No, it's more because I've been finding out that being in God's will isn't all that hard.
In a nutshell, here's the big things God, I think, wants us to do:
Love, Give, Live, Forgive.
And also Eat, Weep, and Keep... the Faith.
God's will isn't easy- but it's not impossible. It's not for the faint of heart, certainly- but it's not for the heroic, bold, and herculean of us, because really, is anybody all that strong? Is there anybody who is immune from doubt, weakness, fear? We wrestle. We struggle. We overcome.
We eat our evening meal, hopefully with a thankful heart. We weep when we feel broken- or we notice someone who is hurting and broken, and our heart goes out to them. We keep on keeping on. Eat, weep, Keep.
We love- and sometimes have to ask God to help us remember what love is. We give- and hopefully more and more with a willing heart. We live- and if we are graced with powerful acute sense of timing, we remember that LIFE is now, and it's for the living, and it's a gift. And we forgive, over and over- and if it isn't over and over, then we know something needs to change in us. Love, Give, Live, Forgive.
Yes, it's good to be in God's will, and to know that straying from His will is not a good thing. A bit of fear that we'll miss God's will is good. But a bit of joy that we can, most definitely, be in His will, is good also.
So, I'm happy. Hope you are too. My eyes are looking up. My knees might start trembling cause I am only human. But my heart is yearning to be on fire with Faith.
It's good to be alive.